Saturday, December 31, 2011

One Year, Pony

Dear Breena,

        So according to the calender, it was exactly 371 days ago that you became mine, but I am having a little trouble believing that it's been that long. It seems like just yesterday that I unwrapped the box holding your registration papers and came to the realization that you were officially and legally mine. Although when I begin to look back and reflect on this past year with you, I suppose maybe it has been that long...
       This year certainly hasn't been easy. We have faced struggle after struggle with each other. Some physical, some mental and some emotional. We've hated each other (well at least I know that I've hated you), we've questioned whether we were right for each other and we've learned how to really push each other's buttons. Of course there were days when I wish I had gotten a perfect push button horse that would have been much easier to figure out but given the opportunity, I wouldn't trade you for anything, not even an Olympic level eventer.
         But let's not dwell on the negative, we have also accomplished and learned so much from each other. You've taught me lessons that I will cherish and use for the rest of my life, the kind of lessons they don't teach you in school. Everyone has always said that its not all about winning but I never agreed with it; then I met you. With every horse I had previously ridden it was about winning. I rode my butt off everyday and trained as hard as I could to win. With you, it's not like that. I ride you because it makes me happy, because I love you, because it's fun. Sure we did win lots of ribbons this year, but it doesn't matter to me. Pony mare, you were always there for me. When every human being abandoned me, I could flee to you with tears streaming down my face and you knew how to make it better. Just by looking at me with your big brown eyes, sniffing my face and following me around you comforted me and made me believe that everything was going to be just fine. Even when our world literally collapsed I knew it would be alright, because I still had you.
        " In your life you will ride that one horse that turns your life around. Not because you won the most ribbons that season, or because you tried something new. It won't be because they got you through a hard time, it will be because they challenged you. The horse that makes you swear, want to give up, throw things and have moments that make you oh so thankful your coach isn't watching. The horse that gives you a run for your money, that throws you to the ground and doesn't blink. The horse that nobody else wants to ride, the one that people use as the definition of a "hard horse". That horse may not give you ribbons, but it will give you the most. I'd be nothing without that horse- I wouldn't be known as the rider I am, I'd just be another kid with ribbons on her walls. The challenges make you stronger, the hard horses make you better. I wouldn't be anything without those horrible rides, and I've never been so thankful. The hard horses are always the ones you'll remember."    Breena, thank you for being that horse for me. Thank you for allowing me to learn you like the back of my hand and knowing me like the tip of your nose. Thank you for every single thing you have done in my life, both the good and bad because they've shaped me into who I am today. 
        So here's to this next year, ponyface. I know that there is lots of change in store for us in these next 52 weeks but I can't wait to see what this next year brings and I can assure you as long as I've got you by my side, everything is going to be just fine. 

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

To be Pursued

      There is just something about being chased after that stirs the heart of nearly every woman and girl I know. Whether it be someone literally running after you, someone trying to get you to open up to them, or someone trying to get you to fall for them in every single way possible, being pursued makes the heart feel good. I think that if you peered into the heart of nearly any age girl, you could determine that it isn't all that difficult to find the reason why being pursued can make the heart skip a beat.
      Even if it's something as silly as someone from a  kiosk in the mall running up to you in hopes of getting you to buy their product I believe that every form of being pursued feels good. With only one or two people at one of the mall's many  kiosks, there's no way they can chase after every single person that happens to stroll by their stand but the fact that they chose to approach you, to pursue you, feels good. Another example that comes to mind is dancing. If you've ever been to any kind of dancing atmosphere you are probably aware of the often awkward situation of determining whom you are going to dance with, or you are captivated by the fear of being an outsider, of remaining on the edge of the dance floor questioning why nobody asked you to dance. When a young, charming male strolls up to you, grabs your hand  and asks you to dance, a sense of relief is felt throughout your entire body. Someone wanted to dance with you, they make you think you're special, they chased after you. Your heart instantly feels lighter.
          Now why is this? What is it about a woman's heart that needs pursuing? Well, when the current world population is over seven billion people, theres a feeling of being different and unique that every girl strives for. When you are being pursued, you become aware of the fact that you are indeed special. That someone seems something in you they like, something they're interested in, something they want to find more out about.
      Now when you feel as though you're not being pursued, it can be easy to slowly begin to believe the lies that society feeds you. The lies that you're not pretty enough, you're not skinny enough, your hips are too big and your legs are too long. Sometimes these lies are easier to believe then others.
        Whether you are in a relationship with another human being or not, you are in fact being pursued all the time; as you are reading this very word, someone wants you. God wants to have a relationship with you, he is chasing after your heart, he cherishes you and everything you are at all times. You are always being pursued by someone, even if it isn't the cutest boy on the dance floor that you are secretly hoping will ask you dance. God is pursuing you, and hey if the man who made everything anything wants your heart, I'd say that you most be pretty dang awesome.